My kids are not going to college.
Or to sleepovers, camps, or even school for that matter.
I’ve always tried to rid myself of this pesky hyper-attachment situation. I doubt that many people are great with people leaving, but I find that I get much too attached to people, places and things. One minute change in my life makes me uncomfortable. Any larger changes can reduce me to a red-eyed, sniffling mess. Take my high school dorm room for example: I lived in the same room for two years and then made an epic move…to the other side of the hallway. I was less than one yard away and yet I’d stop by the door and stare at the new names wistfully. Oh what a sap I am.
If I can’t part with a musty dorm room, I am in no way fully equipped to deal with people leaving me. Which leads me to this weekend.
Allow me to explain myself: I just got finished with the most maddening three weeks I’ve had in quite some time. This camp was full of kids who loved shenanigans, acting out, and generally being ridiculous.
But yesterday, I didn’t remember any of that.
Somehow, in 36 hours, I managed to forget all of the things that had so badly irked me in the prior weeks. I managed to forget: lost keys, misplaced meal cards, messy rooms, undone homework, petty fights and midnight tears. I managed to forget the fact that I lost my voice from talking/yelling too much. I managed to forget being completely exhausted by two in the afternoon.
Not only did I manage to forgive and forget these things, but I cried when they left. Legitimate tears.
I miss the kids, I miss my co-counselors, I miss late night lounge chats, I miss my weird plasticky mattress.
I miss a lot of things, but emotion makes you interesting, right? Or at least it confirms that you’re human
I cannot believe I’ve signed myself up for another three weeks of this.
In the meantime, I’m going to start looking up homeschooling. Never too early to plan…